Biggest Challenges (and growth opportunities!) of a Pilgrimage
In all contexts challenges arise and the Camino de Santiago is no different. I believe the obstacles and challenges we are faced with are also the very sources of our growth. It has become one of my most profound practices to unwaveringly ask during challenging moments - what can I learn? How can I grow from this experience? What does my interpretation of this obstacle reveal about me? The answers may not be immediate but they always eventually come, and through them the challenge transforms from personal limitation to expansion.
In my experience, these are the four biggest challenges of a pilgrimage:
1. No Comforting Distractions
A pilgrimage strips you of the comforting cocoons of everyday life - personal space and privacy, nice clothes and makeup, technology, and sometimes even hot water. When challenges arose, I did not have the option to reach for my usual distractions to feel better. Being without comforts empowered me to glimpse my own strength and confront the inner tensions that had been pleading for my attention for years.
2. Your Own Ego
Just as the physical distance adds up and accumulates wear on the body, the emotional stressors also add up. The combination of sleepless nights, long distances covered, and lack of personal space all add up and take an emotional toll.
On the 25th day of my pilgrimage I reached my breaking point. As I walked into Leon, one of the larger cities the Camino passes through, I couldn’t help but notice that every woman was dressed beautifully and looked so well put together. In contrast, I smelled bad, looked ridiculous with my pilgrim outfit, and felt like a complete pariah. Something snapped in me - I walked right past the albergue, checked into a boutique hotel and burst down crying. I showered for at least an hour, only to have to put the same smelly pilgrim outfit back on. I strongly considered abandoning the Camino and going on a shopping spree for new clothes and make-up. I walked out on the rooftop terrace that overlooked the city and I began to journal. “Maybe I was not cut out for this. Maybe I was crazy to have left my comfortable life. What was I out here trying to prove anyway? Whatever it was, I was clearly failing”. I beat myself up hard.
I did not have compassion toward myself. My expectations were unnecessarily harsh. While most pilgrims alternated between private accommodation and municipal shelters, I never let myself get a private room. I had a preconceived idea around how a pilgrimage was done the “right” way. To me it meant ruffing it as much as possible and I took great pride in my ability to push myself without giving into my needs for comfort as others had.
My attachment to the “right” experience almost forced me to quit. I did not give myself breaks to occasionally ensure much needed personal space - a private shower, an uninterrupted night of sleep, a quiet space.
I didn’t check in with myself to understand what experience I needed, and wanted to force myself into the one I envisioned before I even experienced the demands of a pilgrimage first hand.
Were it not for this drastic hotel night intervention, I would have emotionally burnt out well before reaching Santiago. From this day forward I slept in a private room every 2-3 nights.
Completing a 500 mile pilgrimage is as much an emotional challenge as it is physical. Just as it is immensely important to stretch daily and provide the body with daily maintenance so it can go on, it is equally important to provide emotional nurturance.
3. Other People
The people I encountered were both, the most rewarding aspect of the pilgrimage and also the most challenging. The people we encounter mirror back with incredible accuracy the inner qualities each of us must further develop.
For me there were countless opportunities to strengthen virtues of tolerance, patience, and compassion.
Tolerance:
Sharing a room with 5-80 people each night meant hearing symphonies of snoring, coughing, farts, and footsteps. While some people stumbled to their beds past quiet hours like bulls in a chinashop, accidentally kicking over obstacles hidden by the darkness; others were ready to wake up at 4am and start packing up like they were the only ones in the room.
As someone who values privacy and a quiet night, this was a major opportunity for growth. After the Camino my tolerance skyrocketed. 35 such nights gave me perspective on what disturbances I have the capacity to tolerate, and more often than not, how inconsequential they really are.
Compassion:
Different people reach their breaking point in different moments, and sometimes you are inevitably in the wrong place at the wrong time and receive wrath. One morning a woman stood over me while I slept. As soon as I opened my eyes, she began to scream at me with rage for closing the bedroom window during the night. On my way out of the albergue I noticed her struggle to snap her mentally challenged adult daughter out of a trancelike fit. I quickly gained insight into the challenges of her life and I was glad I did not fire back with insults earlier. This experience was a tremendous lesson in compassion. We can never know what others are going through. Often their behavior toward us has very little to actually do with us.
Patience:
One day as I trekked along two men happened to be walking at my pace. One of them had a walking stick that he was dragging on the ground. No matter how hard I tried, I could not pass them. My mind fixated in agitation on the sound of the stick. It only mildly bothered my walking companions, but for some reason it drove me crazy! It required great mental effort to understand why I took the stick dragging so personally and have patience toward the external stimulus.
4. The one we all wish was not on the list
Bugs. Not much to learn from this one, but the list would be missing a gaping hole if I did not include them as a reality of a pilgrimage. Between Tiger Mosquitoes and flea bites, bugs were a struggle for me. Full disclosure, I am extremely prone to bug bites. My presence is the most effective bug repellent for other people. Bugs were not an issue for every pilgrim, but, if you’re prone to them, brace yourself.